FRIDAY THE 13TH

OOF.

Slept in until seven and still didn't want to wake up. If I had a working phone, I might've called in sick. (Actually, I wouldn't have...BUT I WAS TIRED.)

It's silly what I get upset over. Gave a guy 50 cents, then regretted it because I wanted a bagel and a paper this morning and didn't want to break a twenty to buy both.

1. I'm a bleeding heart, but I'm sure the guy needed the money more than me
2. I didn't need a bagel
3. I didn't need a paper either

I did buy the bagel though...

I finished my Nana's scarf. I cheated a little. Got help from a friend, didn't finish it "correctly", but it doesn't look too bad. I hope she gets it before St. Patty's Day and likes it.

Work wasn't too bad. Went to the Mishka flagship opening on Broadway (in Brooklyn today). It was neat, but maybe I'm just too old for that shit.

Hung out with my roomie. We went to eat hamburgers...because we love hamburgers. I know. It's Lent. No meat on Fridays. But I did it. We had fun catching up and some other friends showed up unexpectedly. So we hung out and chatted and made a night of it. Her schedule's been crazy. She has been flying cross country every few days for work. Sounds intense. She says I look good and the weight drop is totally noticeable.

We then came home and caught up on an office episode. That's all we did. I had to go to sleep in order to wake up to go to my run tomorrow.

I went to Weight Watchers again this morning. I'm down to 194 lbs. I'm stunned. I feel good but it's taken a lot of work. I'VE BEEN BUSTING MY ASS. The funny thing is - - I feel like I look decent in clothes. Unclothed...totally different story. I want to look like I'm in a P90X infomercial (http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/p90x.do?code=P90XDOTCOM)
Still. I'm making progress. As cliche as it sounds - - I am making it happen...

What my friends said about running (/training for) the Boston Marathon:

Hey man,Thanks! It was pretty wild to actually do it. What are you up to these days? That's cool that you've run a marathon! Did you do it in NYC or Houston? Don't knock your time - just finishing is a big deal. I finished my first one in 5 hours and was very happy. I never planned or even dreamt of being able to qualify for Boston, but each year I worked a little harder and gradually improved on what I'd done before, and somehow I managed to do it. I wrote about my run in my blog:(DELETED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT) Anyway, to give you a serious answer to a serious question, I think it just comes down to training and committment. Did you follow any sort of training schedule when you ran before? If you'd like I can send you one I made for a friend who ran her first marathon last year and second this year, and is still around the 5-hour time but improving and enjoying it.I try to run at least 4-5 days a week all year round. I usually start a training schedule about 4-5 months before the marathon, and it basically consists of a short, medium and short run during the week, then a long run on the weekend, and sometimes an extra short run on the weekend if I have time or feel like it, which usually doesn't happen to be honest. The long runs start at just a little more distance than the medium runs and gradually build every weekend until I'm doing 18-20 mile runs. Two weeks before the marathon I start to taper those back down.I've been using that basic format each year, and then kind of bumping up the distance of my short and medium runs slightly each year, as I grow comfortable with them. When I started, my short and medium runs were 3 & 5 miles, and now they're 6 & 8 miles.Another thing I tried this year which I think really helped was doing some light strength training. I fucking hate doing sit-ups and push-ups, but I've read that your overall core fitness helps with distance running, so I tried to do some of those 2 or 3 times a week. Sometimes I felt like I was exercising nearly every day, which was really annoying, but it doesn't really take much time to do a few sit-ups and push-ups, so I just tried to force myself to do them, and I do think it helped.Anyway, I hope that helps. I don't think I'm a hard-core fitness dude, but somehow I really took to running. I don't belong to a gym or anything. It's kind of embarassing talking about exercising so much, but since you asked, I wanted to give you a straight-up answer. Here's another blog post where I talk about my first forrays into running and how embarassed about it I was: (DELETED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT) Maybe you'll relate. Anyway, good to hear from you Sean! Good luck with the running!

I would actually like to go see him run it this year. He lives in California and I haven't seen him in a few years. As he mentions, he was never known as a runner (or an athlete, for that matter...) Qualifying for Boston is huge.

My roommate is back today, but only for the weekend. She's been traveling for work. I didn't see her though. She went out and I stayed home and did what I do best: watch the Office and 30 Rock while knitting. I finished the scarf I'm sending to my Nana. Well, as much as I can finish. My co-worker will have to help me "finish" it. I don't know how to complete it.

BITING MY NAILS AGAIN

WEDNESDAY. HUMP DAY.

Biting my nails again. Actually, I haven't stopped. It's just a gross, bad habit - and, like anything else bad for me, it's hard to stop. I will continue with giving up such a nasty habit, but it's really the least of my worries.

What I probably should be worried about is blood in my urine. Yep. After my run tonight, I had bloodpiss. I've had before (in August?), so it wasn't as alarming as the first time it happened. Plus - the first time it happened, it was painful. That said...while I know it should be cause for some concern, I almost see it as a rite of passage (as crazy as that sounds). See - to me - I associate bloody pee with ultrarunners. After reading about all the running greats that do fifty, or a hundred plus miles at a time having blood in their urine - - I see it as some "next level" type shit. I've arrived!

Seeing blood in your urine can cause more than a little anxiety. Yet blood in urine — known medically as hematuria — isn't always a matter for concern. Strenuous exercise can cause blood in urine, for instance. So can a number of common drugs, including aspirin. But urinary bleeding can also indicate a serious disorder.

There are two types of blood in urine. Blood that you can see is called gross hematuria. Urinary blood that's visible only under a microscope is known as microscopic hematuria and is found when your doctor tests your urine for another condition. Either way, it's important to determine the reason for the bleeding.
Treatment depends on the underlying cause. Blood in urine caused by exercise usually goes away on its own in a day or two, but other problems often require medical care.

SOME DAYS ARE BETTER THAN OTHERS

Some days are better than others. It's a given. Of course, that doesn't mean I should just give up. Inspiration. Motivation. Will Power. Determination. All that good shit.

Woke up on the wrong side of bed. My phone died. Like, DEAD. Work was weird. Our boss is restructuring our duties. She did that in January. I'm good at what I do. Just let me do it...

More food, less exercise = fat

I ran after work. While it wasn't the ten miles I had planned to do (I forgot my socks), it was a good, fast run. Like, sub 9:30 min./miles. (That's fast for me...) It's easier to run fast when everybody at the gym is running faster than you.

Today was officially the one year anniversary at my job. I've made it a year. Many ups and downs. It's been kinda down, since we got the new veep. We can't figure out what she's thinking and/or doing. It's scary at times. Will she get rid of us all?

Anyway, this is a good time to ponder and reminisce over the last year - the good and the bad:

first, the bad..
LOWLIGHTS

Push myself too hard/Too hard on myself
Went out with a dumb girl
The dumb girl broke up with me
Didn't get to take any classes (money is an issue...)
MONEY IS ALWAYS AN ISSUE!
Didn't lose as much weight as I wanted
General, non-focus issues
Sent my dogs off :(
Anxiety (social, etc..)
Rarely attended Weight Watcher's meetings
Didn't live up to my potential
Didn't I mention I was hard on myself?

and now for the good...
HIGHLIGHTS

ATP!!!
Rode in the NYC Century
Trips to Chicago (twice!), L.A., Philly, Olympia/Seattle, Houston
Started eating better/joined Weight Watchers
Joined NYRR
Joined an awesome gym
Ran a marathon (w/my twin!)
Found the woman of my dreams
Got a great job (brought on staff!)
Bought a plush new bed
Learned how to live without [BUYING] things

If I really think about it, even the bad is good. Especially with things the way they are (economy, daily craziness), I have nothing to be down about. That being said...this will be a good year.

The best is yet to come.

I SHALL NOT BE MOVED

Woke up at 3am. It's usually much easier to wake up at early at the beginning of the week.
Did push-ups. Would, at least, like to incorporate push-ups and core exercises into my routine. I should seriously start doing weights though. Get it together!

Ate some bullshit for breakfast (my favorite: sausage, egg and cheese on an English muffin), but it won't happen again this week...

Not that I've lost that much weight., but a lot of my clothes are ill-fitting....and have food stains. The old me. I want new clothes!

So many things I want to do and see - and it all cost money! TONIGHT: Kristen Wiig!!! Too expensive...

I need to save it for a later date. Speaking of which - I bought a ticket to ABQ today. Awesome.

Many good things to come!!!

Lazy Sunday.
Daylight savings threw my whole day off. I don't know how I forgot I was losing an hour, when I had it written down in three places.

Again, another day of doing practically nothing. Sometimes I just can't get my shit together. I finally made it out of the house at 5:00 to go pick up my laundry and buy groceries. The laundry lady made fun of my load. It was small and I probably could've washed it myself. The thing is, I hate washing laundry. It would be one thing if I had a washer in dryer in my place - but I do not. Most of the time, it's just worth the money (to me) to have someone else do it.

So, I just knitted and watched TV again. I finally got to watching Netflix. I watched Snow Buddies (a, dare I say, cute Disney movie in the Air Bud vein) and Crazy Love (an insane documentary. Basic synopsis: Sixteen years after Linda Riss has acid thrown in her face by Burt Pagach, the couple marry. CRAYCRAY) I then watched Rock of Love and the season finale of Tool Academy. I got a lot of knitting done. Of course, I'm no Brooklyn Tweed (http://brooklyntweed.blogspot.com/). Someday!

While I did get some stuff done, I still didn't workout. So, to me, it was a wasted weekend.

Every minute I'm not working out feels like every minute I'm getting fatter. It sucks, but that's life. I just have to get it together. Don't lose faith.

I haven't slept in, in what seems, quite a while. Was going to wake up and go to the gym, but my warm, new bed felt so good this morning. Of course, that meant I didn't do or want to do anything all morning. You know: buy groceries, laundry, clean, wash dishes...the stuff that needed to get done.

There are days (especially during the weekend) where I feel like I'm standing still; in limbo. I just can't seem to get off my ass and do anything. While I didn't work out, I did go into the city to meet some old friends that I haven't seen in a while. It wasn't all that much fun, but I did get to walk around Tribeca and the West Village and dream of moving. There definitely is a part of me that wants to live in the city. I hate commuting. But I do love Brooklyn. Give and take, I guess...

Was also planning on going to an art show, maybe church, and see an old friend's band play. I didn't make it out of the house. I took a nap, watched TV, and knitted up a storm. Quiet night.

AS AN ASIDE -

Now, on top of my itunes being silly - my printer no longer works. I'm sure it's an easy fix...to someone that's computer literate.