TGIF

I couldn't wake up this morning. Or rather, I didn't wake up this morning. It's hard for me. I'm not a morning person. That said - it's a choice. If I had a job that started at 5 AM, Lord knows that I would wake up early enough to get there. I had two early jobs (serving breakfast) where I had to be at work early. I was never late. Why can't I treat exercise the same way? Why can't it just be like clock work? I want it to be routine. So important to me that I never miss it. Like Goggins.

Please...don't waste your weekend. Do it up! Ten mile run in Central Park, or whatever. Just keep moving. Hell...exercise in the morning and at night. Start riding your bike next week, as well. It's warming up and will be beautiful.

I will say that I finished off the week with a great run. That's right -- I went to the gym after work and ran 6 miles in one hour (or 10 minutes per mile). It was fairly difficult but I stuck with it and did it. I was proud of myself. I can't wait to see in two weeks how far I've come...

All and all, a good week. Just keep it up.
CAN'T STOP, WON'T STOP.

I'm taking the day off from exercising today. As much as I'm afraid of taking a day off, I NEED it. My co-workers are going out to a bar to celebrate someone's birthday. $20 - all you can drink. That's the last thing I need or want right now.

I really wanted to do nothing this weekend. Turns out, there's another "friend" in town. Drats! This will be the fourth weekend in a row where someone's been in town. Not into it.

I've been so out of it at work lately; it's hard for me to concentrate. What is it? What is my problem? I feel like I have ADD or OCD or something else that ends in a "D". Seriously, I can't focus. Maybe I need Ritalin (or Adderall).

Sorry my thoughts are all over the place. I finished the first half of a scarf I'm knitting.

30 Rock is still the best show on TV. WHO DAT NINJA.

That is all for today.

GOOD NIGHT!

Weight Watchers Wednesday

So, I woke up this morning and got on the scale. Reads: 198lbs. Can this be right?

Weight watchers. I joined WW at the beginning of September of 2008 to, hopefully, help me take off some weight...especially since I wanted to get my weight down for the Philly Marathon. I started on September 2nd at 216.4lbs. I lost, but wasn't consistent with my meal plan....

Truth of the matter is - I don't like going. It pains me that I have to get on a scale in front of someone (other than myself) to keep myself accountable. I can't be honest with myself, I guess. I seem to rationalize pizza and beer and hamburgers and chili, et al...when I know it's not a good idea EVERY NIGHT. It's called moderation and I'm not very good at it. I tend to overeat all the wrong food!

It's just that it's hard to sit in a meeting with a bunch of overweight women talking about how much they love chocolate. (More than sex? I think not...) I mean, I have issues - but it's hard for me to relate to these people. Also, there are usually no men in the meeting. Very few, if at all. And usually they're gay. Yes, I can tell. Anyway, so - it's hard for me to go. That being said - I need to just do it. Bite the bullet. This is for me, myself and I.

So, here I am...March 4th, 2009. I'm going to start going (again). It's a pain, but it's worth it. I just need to be consistent. Didn't stay for the meeting, but I weighed in at 197.2lbs. I haven't weighed under 200lbs. in ten years. Five years ago I was 260. I've come a long way. I remember having a personal trainer in 2003 and just wanting to die. I even told my dad that I was addicted to pizza. I was managing a movie theater and couldn't stop eating popcorn and chocolate-cover almonds and drinking loads (gallons?) of Cherry Coke. Fast forward to 2009 and I don't do those things anymore. I've dropped 4.6 pounds since (the last time I went to Weight Watchers on) December 10th. Granted, I'm inconsistent and I've probably lost and gained that same weight twenty times over again. Still, I'm headed in the right direction. Keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right path.

I SHALL PREVAIL!

WHAT WOULD GOGGINS DO?

I would like to attempt or mimic this workout - as closely as possible - without dying from exhaustion. This being the legendary daily workout routine of insane Navy SEAL and ultramarathoner, David Goggins. Did I mention he was insane? Anyway, when I can barely run five miles, I try to think of this. Sometimes it actually helps and I push through...

Anyway, it was 13 degrees outside this morning and snow and ice are still on the ground. Although Goggins would still probably ride his bike, I decided not to - for fear of crashing and breaking my neck. As a matter of fact, I actually know someone that just recently broke their ankle by slipping on ice. IT'S DANGEROUS OUT THERE. The thing is, David lives in sunny California and doesn't really have to worry about inclement weather. I, however, do. I want to be a badass, but not at the risk of risking my own health.

I finished the Last Lecture on Sunday, so I started Eugene Mirman's The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life. Shit is deep. Too deep. It's written in his non-sensical voice and it's hard to follow when you're on the train. I need a lighter fare while I'm sitting next to screaming babies and people that listen to their ipods WAY TOO LOUD. Although super hilarious, it's just one of those books where you have to read a sentence or paragraph more than once to get an understanding of what he's saying -- or trying to say. Like Tolstoy. Or Joyce. (I've read neither...for that exact reason.) Instead I started reading Rejected: Tales of the Failed, Dumped, and Canceled instead. It's writers from SNL, The Daily Show, Kids in Hall, etc. that have come together and share their stories of failed works that never made to air.

From the intro:

Rejection can and should be your ally. No matter what kind of work or art you do, no one can tell you that what you have is not good enough. Only YOU can say when you have failed. Each level of success opens up a whole new set of rejections and failures that we have to face. The cycle never ends, but we can find ways to adjust with each new experience.

SNOW DAY

As much as I wanted to ride my bike to work...today was not the day to do so. Funny thing is, most people stayed home anyway. Could I have stayed home too? Probably. I probably should've too, but it really doesn't matter now.

All and all, though, I had a great day. Ran five miles before AND after work (ten miles!). I ate well. I got shit done. What more could I really ask for...

March Madness: NEW LIFE

THE IDES OF MARCH ARE UPON US...
This is it! GIT-R-DUN!

I ran in the Coogans Classic 5K this morning...snow and all. It was a fun "race". The race was in Washington Heights (made famous by the musical, "The Heights"). It was an out and back coarse, which was kinda frustrating because we could only use one half of the road. It was crowded and hard getting around the slower people. All 6,000 of them. I bettered my time by more than three minutes, or a minute per mile faster than last week's 5k. A sub 30 minute 3.1 miles. Not too shabby.
I'm all about these races because it is making me do what I should be doing anyway. What I have gotten up at 5:30 to run this morning, had it not been for the race? Most likely not.

After that, I went to work, the gym, lunch with an old friend (whom I hadn't seen in over ten years), back to work and the gym, and had dinner with some more old friends (whom I hadn't seen in about three years).

Guh...but it's snowing. They're are mentioning the word "blizzard" when talking about tomorrow. (I could go for a DQ Blizzard right now...) Still, I feel like I will have a good week this week. GIT-R-DUN!

Oh god, its raining
But Im not complaining
Its filling me upWith new life
The stars in the sky
Bring tears to my eyes
Theyre lighting my way
Tonight
And I havent felt so alive
In years

Saturday...what to do? Goto the Apollo Theater tour? (...last day of Black History Month!) Go see a movie? Just stay home and watch Netflix? So many options and so little time.

I woke up this morning and weighed 205. Not too shabby. I got down all the way to 203 this week, but I had an Indian lunch buffet to celebrate a co-worker's birthday yesterday with no workout. It happens. I would love to be under 200 by Monday, but I won't be bothered if I'm not (...as long as I keep working at it and losing weight). 7.5lbs. is a lot of weight to lose in a week. Maybe too much. That's some Biggest Loser shit right there. The average (i.e. realistic) weight to lose PER WEEK is one to two pounds. And, supposedly, the slower you lose it - the better chance you have keeping it all off. I lost almost four times that amount. Crazy. I just don't want to lose it just to gain it back. I've done it before. NEVER AGAIN! Can I please get to, at least, 190 before I'm 35? Each year, before my birthday, my biggest birthday wish is to not be fat on my birthday. Of course, I have the whole year to get lose the weight...but it's totally apparent when birthday month rolls around.

I wrote this to two friends today:

Sorry to take time out of your busy schedule of work and family life - BUT -
As someone who's qualified for the Boston Marathon, what would your suggestion be for someone who would like to qualify and can only run a 5 hour 30 minute marathon? I don't care how long it takes to qualify. I can be 50 years old. I've got time. Yes, I'm asking you...
How do I get down from 12:00 minute miles to 7:30? Any help would be much appreciated. ThanksP.S. I'm serious.
Hope all is well!

I know it's not about being better off than others. It's all about dealing with my own issues and making my own life better. However, when I read stuff like this

(http://health.msn.com/weight-loss/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100233408&GT1=31036) I feel a little bit better about myself. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I'm shallow like that...

Before I shout out the lights, I leave the world with this:

There's only one thing that I know how to do well
And I've often been told that you only can do
What you know how to do well
And that's be you
Be what you're like
Be like yourself

(After 20 plus years, I still love TMBG...)